


two birds

by angelsprunch



Series: song based fics [6]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Horror, M/M, Self Harm, Suicide, i cry over this a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-23 20:40:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12516116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsprunch/pseuds/angelsprunch
Summary: bill is ready to take on anything... stanley not so much.





	two birds

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Two Birds](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/334676) by bildenbroing. 



> follow my tumblr !! georgiesdenbrough
> 
> this was based off of the fanart by billdenbroing:  
> http://billdenbroing.tumblr.com/post/165670658944

fighting it affected all of the losers differently, but stan was most definitely the one most affected from the battle. he was more withdrawn from the group afterwards and he acted more like a grownup than the rest of the group. stan was the first to stop laughing at richie’s jokes. he was the first to stop playing in the barrens and he was the first to stop meeting up at the park. stan had excuses at first, he had to meet his dad at the synagogue or he had homework or his mother wanted him home right away. however, the losers eventually stopped asking because they started to expect stan to not be there. or, everyone did except for bill. 

bill knows he can’t leave the group and he doesn’t want to. he accepted his role as the leader with a lot of pride and he couldn’t abandon his friends. however, this meant that he couldn’t abandon stanley, either. so one day bill leaves the barrens early in search of his friend. he swore that there was nothing he wouldn’t understand, so bill wanted to understand stanley. while he walked to stanley’s house, bill saw the scar on his palm and a frown found it’s way onto his features. he remembered that day and he remembered the promise they all made. he also remembered stan saying that he hated them all. stan had insisted he was joking, but to this day, something tells bill that he wasn’t.

when bill is on stanley’s front porch, he rings the doorbell despite knowing he can simply walk in. it takes a few minutes, but stan answers the door. stan was surprised to see bill, he wishes that he knew the boy was coming so he could have picked up the house a little. stan looks bill up and down and realizes that his shoes are dirty so he must have been outside playing with their friends. “i can’t go out today. i have a history project that i’ve been working on.” stan starts, in case bill was here in an attempt to get him outside. stan thought he had successfully fallen away from the losers when they stopped asking about him. it further proved to stan that they weren’t his friends, but now bill was on his front porch with dirty shoes.

“i’m not hear to get you to go o-outside. i’m here to get you to let m-me inside, stan.” bill says when stan starts talking about his history project. the two are in the same history class and bill knows for a fact that stan has already finished the project because he was helping someone else in the class with their project when they were given time in class to work on it. however, bill didn’t mention this piece of information. instead bill waited for stan to step aside and he stepped into the house. “why have you been a-avoiding us, stan? we all share c-classes with you. we know you don’t have t-that much homework.” bill explained, looking at his slightly shorter friend. he only got a shrug from stanley and watched him walk back into the kitchen, so he could work on a math assignment that wasn’t do for a week. bill followed the boy with a small frown and sat beside him.  


“it’s hard being around you guys.” stan admits, softly. he doesn’t look up from his homework, but his words hang heavy in the air. “i don’t want to believe what we did. i don’t want it to be true, so i’m trying to forget it. being around you guys makes it harder to forget. it makes everything that much more real. i try to come up with excuses and then i see that scar on your hand, or mike’s. then all i can think about is it and i remember how it came after me. i remember how you guys left me alone in those sewers...” stan trails off with a shiver, putting his palm down so his scar wasn’t visible. “it isn’t real, bill. it can’t be.” he mumbled the last bit, glancing at his friend from the corner of his eyes.  


bill’s heart drops at what stan says. he only remembers pieces of what happened in the sewer, it was clear that stan remembered more. however, he hated knowing that the losers were a constant reminder to stan for what happened. bill wants to fix it, he knows he’s supposed to fix it, but he doesn’t know how. “w-we are your friends, stan. we a-are.” he insists, taking stan’s scarred hand in his own. “i’m h-here, stan. i w-won’t let go of your h-hand.” bill says after sitting there for a moment. the two sit in silence before stan rests his head on bill’s shoulder and mumbles a ‘thank you’.

\----------------------------------------------

they’re in high school now. for the most part all of the losers went their separate ways. richie and eddie had started dating in their sophomore year, ben and beverly in their freshmen year. mike managed to get put on varisty sports when he was only a freshman and he was quickly known around the school for his skills. bill was class president and ran the writing club as well as the school newspaper while stan was the head of his class and on track to be valedictorian. the group was approaching graduation when richie decided to throw a party to celebrate the whole school almost graduating. stan thought about going, but stayed home to work on extra credit work. bill was driving to the party, but ended up pulling into stan’s driveway when he noticed stan’s car sitting in the driveway. 

it had been over a year since bill went to stan’s house, but this time he simply walked in. bill looked in the kitchen, but he didn’t see stan so he headed up to stan’s bedroom and let himself in. he saw stan sitting on his bed with a textbook in his lap. “stan, w-why are you here instead of at th-the party?” he asked, sitting down beside stan. stan gave bill a surprised look, but didn’t say anything. instead he focused on finishing his work before he talked to bill. bill simply sat there patiently while he waited for his friend to finish.it took stan about ten more minutes to finish his work. the page of his notebook was filled with his neat handwriting. he pulled out his planner and he checked off one of the items that he listed. after he checked it off, stan put his books away in his backpack. 

“i have extra credit work to do. if i don’t, julia will steal valedictorian from me and i’ve worked too hard to lose it.” stan says, looking over at bill with his hands settled in his lap. bill looks up when he hears stan speaking and he nods after a moment. “th-then i’ll stay here w-with you. w-we’ll all be going away s-soon and i d-don’t know when i-i’ll get this chance a-again.” bill states, reaching for stan’s scarred hand. stan smiled weakly at his friend, but agreed to let bill stan in his house. stan decided to put on a movie and sit with bill in the living room. he didn’t let go of bill’s hand and bill didn’t let go of his. instead, bill followed stan around the house while he put in a movie and grabbed a blanket so that they could sit on the couch and watch the movie.  


they were watching gremlins, one of bill’s favorites, while they sat on the couch. stan had his legs over bill’s lap and bill was leaning against stanley while they watched the movie. he was still holding on tightly to stan’s hand while they watched the movie. “if you n-need to talk, there’s nothing i w-won’t understand. i’m not l-letting go of your hand.” bill stated, looking up at stan. stan gave bill a weak smile, but didn’t say anything. instead he moved to lay down on the couch and let bill hold him. they watched gremlins, but by the time it was over both boys were sleeping soundly on the couch.

\-------------------------------------------------

it was after graduation. stan was sitting on the bleachers after everyone else had left the gymnasium. he was looking at his hands, frowning at the scar on his palm when bill walked in and sat down next to him. “s-so this is it. y-you’re going to atlanta, i’m going t-to s-san diego. e-everyone is going different w-ways.” bill says, reaching for stan’s scarred hand and taking it in his own. stan had learned to grow used to bill randomly showing up in his life. something about bill was easier to deal with than the rest of the losers. he actually liked when bill would sit next to him and hold his hand. there was something calming about it.

“you’re going to be a great writer, bill. i just know it.” he said, softly. stan scooted closer to bill and rested his hand on his shoulder, like what he does every other time. he wondered if this would be the last time that they would be together like this. stan knows that he forgot pieces of his childhood, but he also knows that other parts are forever ingrained into his memory. he believes that this moment and the moments like this are going to forever be a part of him. bill was watching stan while he spoke and smiled when he felt stan’s head on his shoulder. “i’m j-just a phone call away, s-stan. i know we’re g-going down different paths, but i’m here. i’ll n-never let go of your hand.”  


the two sat like that for a while, until the school emptied out and everyone went to their graduation parties. bill realized that he should start heading out, too. he got up, but still held onto stan’s hand as he leaned down and kissed stan gently. when he pulled away, he smiled down at stan. “i-i’ll believe it all. there’s n-nothing i won’t understand.” he said before hesitantly letting go of stan’s hand and walking out of the gymnasium. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it was 1985 and bill had let go of stan’s hand. or maybe, stan had never tried to fly out to bill. he had just gotten a call from mike hanlon, reminding him of the blood oath that he never forgot. stan had politely ended the phone call and went into the bathroom to draw a bath for himself. something inside of him was telling him to call bill, telling him that bill would understand. a greater force was telling him to continue with his original plan. bill had probably changed his phone number and he was probably going to be receiving a call from mike soon as well.

stan’s last thought as he wrote on the wall of his tub in his own blood was about bill. he wondered if bill would think about him on his way back to derry. stan knew that bill wouldn’t back away from this fight. he knew bill would defeat it this time.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think !! i still cry over this song


End file.
